It's all downhill from here.

I've fucked up for the last time. Everything in my life is spiraling downward, and all i can do is watch it happen. Sometimes i wonder if it's ever enough, but god keeps throwing more stuff at me. And what do i do? I handle it the wrong way; i freak out; i mess up. It's like i don't know what's right from wrong, or i don't think before i do. Whatever the case is, it's all downhill from here. I can feel everything closing in on me, and i can't escape it. I'm suffocating in my own thoughts and actions, and sooner or later i'm going to collapse. Why can't i just handle things correctly? Why can't i be the perfect daughter? The perfect girlfriend? The perfect friend? No. I can't be. It's never been that way for me. I fuck up everything. To other people, it looks like a simple problem. But in reality, it's so much more. I've always wondered if something happened to me as a child to make me such a complex person. Was i raised to be this way? Was i born this way? I don't understand it, and i never will. I'm too complicated. Actually, i'm so complicated that I can't even figure myself out. These thoughts that i have are way too complex to belong to a 15 year old. Maybe i'm just crazy. Yeah, thats it.